Amelia’s reluctant welcome . . .

They’s asked me to write stuff on this ’ere thing they calls a blog, and I can tell you: I isn’t too happy about it.

But if it gets you to listen to the latest episode of The Chronicles of Little Bibbling under Flossock on Bill whatsisname’s programme, The Underground Ablution, then I’s happy, like. [Bill Everatt, Amelia; and it’s The Underground Edition. – Ed.]

Oi, what’s happenin’? Who’s this Ed? I doesn’t know any bugger called Ed.  [It means “Editor”, Amelia. – Ed.]

Anyways, the Little Bibblin’ stuff comes in around twenty minutes or so into the programme, so now you knows. No need to listen to the rest of the programme – it’s shit. [We strongly recommend listeners to listen to the whole programme, because it’s brilliant. – Ed.]

We introduced my charmin’ part of the world, Little Bibbling under Flossock, in the February Ablution. [Edition, Amelia. Ed.] And it showed how that nice fella Andrew John actually got there. Well, I says nice. He’s a bit funny if you asks me – in the ’ead, like, if you sees what I means. [No libel allowed, Amelia. Careful. – Ed.]

You can just see Little Bibblin’ at the other side of the M39 – of you’re sittin’ down, like. Well, from where I am – right in Little Bibblin’ – it’s this side of the M39, o’ course. But then it would be, wouldn’t it?

Anyways, in the March Ablution you can hear some more. In this one, that nice (but creepy) Mr John introduces some of the characters from our charmin’ little hamlet thing.

They’s the mayor, Councillor Beauregard Soup, for instance. And they’s a big fat bugger of a councillor called Crispian Tarquin Buttock-Bottomley. They has to repair the road when he walks past. Then there’s the mayor’s daughter, who’s also his mayoral consort, Lucy Soup the Third (she’s the third on account of how she ’as two older sisters, both called Lucy). F[deleted] weird if you asks me. [Language, Amelia, language. Ed.]

So, anyways, like, off you goes and listens to that Underground whatever it is, and you’ll learn all about Little Bibblin’ under Flossock.

’Ere, was that all right, then? [Fine, Amelia. Brilliant. – Ed.]

About Amelia Spleenwort

My name is Mrs Amelia Spleenwort, aged 93, of 42 Cobblers' Cottages, Little Bibbling under Flossock, which you just see at the other side of the M39, if you're sittin' down. People says my part of the world is a bit weird, like, but I says it's the rest of you what is bonkers.

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